Pilgrimage Day 2

Right now it's karaoke night at the little bar/club across the street from my guesthouse here in the German Colony in Haifa. Some drunk man just wrapped up a rendition of Patsy Cline's "Crazy." I'll tell you what's crazy: it's me for staying here. Let this be a lesson learned - you get what you pay for. When planning a trip abroad, you should be groaning from the expense of accommodation instead of jubilant at the deal you think you're getting.

I left Chicago on Thursday evening feeling the least prepared I've ever felt before going abroad. I left half my pilgrimage information at home, and I'm sure I've forgotten something critically important and I just haven't discovered it, yet. The good news is the plane ride allowed me time to catch up on the few assignments that I still had due. I'm finished with everything except revising a draft and finishing a reflection essay.

When I was getting on board in Chicago, I fell in line behind this lady. I assumed she was by herself but when we got to the gate, she turned around and told me to hurry up. I balked at her and she gasped. "Why, you're not my husband at all!" she said in this very dignified British accent. "A bit young for you, isn't he?" the airline official at the gate asked. "Don't get cheeky," the lady said, snapping her fingers at her husband behind me. "Come on, then."

On the flight from London to Tel Aviv, there were a lot of incorrigible people onboard. I felt bad for the flight attendants. First this man insisted on holding his guitar because it wouldn't fit in the overhead. If you can't hold a purse in your lap then obviously you can't hold a guitar. The flight attendant was going to put it in the closet in first-class for him, but he refused! She tried to take it from him, but he tugged it back from her. Then she started getting pissed, so finally he let go with a begrudging, "You take good care of it," as if it were a child he'd never see again. Another man had his blanket over his seatbelt and refused to show it to the flight attendant during turbulence. Eventually she just reached over and snatched his blanket away from him!

There's been a lot of hullabaloo about the new Terminal 5 built by British Airways at London's Heathrow airport. This was my first time going through it, and I hated it. I had 1 1/2 hours to make my transfer, and it took me slightly more than an hour to get through security. Yes, security. For what, I have no idea. First of all, our 777 didn't even pull up to a gate. It just sat out on the tarmac and we were bused to the terminal. Then we were ushered upstairs and made to wait in line before going through a checkpoint where we had our passports inspected and liquids confiscated. 

Then it was on to actual security. I have absolutely no idea what dangerous things they expected us to pick up between our plane and the terminal. We went through all the things we went through in the U.S. - take off your shoes, take out your laptop, etc., etc. Lucky me, my flight was departing from a terminal where I had to get on another bus and be shuttled to my plane.

Tel Aviv was thankfully easy. The passport control agent either didn't care or didn't hear me when I asked not to have my passport stamped, so I'll have to get a new passport if I intend to travel to an Arab country. They pulled me aside after immigration and a guy asked me a few questions: "Where are you going?", "Why?", "Where are you staying?", and "Do you have your letter from the Baha'i Center?". I snagged some shekels from the ATM and boarded a sherut for Haifa. I had to wait an hour for it to fill up, but eventually we were on our way.

Granted it was a cloudy day, but Israel seems pretty ugly to me. I guess there's a certain appeal to this scruffy Mediterranean look but the architecture, particularly in Tel Aviv, was extremely uninventive: one cement block after another! Haifa is considerably better but it's still sort of ugly once you look beyond the very touristy areas.

I'm staying in the German Colony, which was settled by a bunch of Germans looking for the return of Christ (somehow they missed the Baha'is the whole time they were here, sheesh). It's sense been rehabilitated and seems to be (unbeknownst to me ahead of time) a center of Haifa nightlife. There are a number of good restaurants around but my visits will be few and far between thanks to a budget.

Overnight I fought with the music from the club and my own jet lag, only getting a few hours of sleep. I ended up actually sleeping solidly from 8:00 AM - 2:00 PM. I went out and bought a few groceries so I could eat in my room and then went to get adventurous! I thought of trying to hoof it up the terraces but they seemed to be closed, so I followed signs to "Baha'i Center" and ended up getting lost. It was a health walk nonetheless, although I think Mt. Carmel will end up killing me before I leave.

Here are some little bits about Israel:

1.) Learn Hebrew. If you don't, expect to always be on the wrong bus, in the wrong restaurant and/or eating the wrong food, walking down the wrong street or otherwise doing/saying something wrong.

2.) There are approximately 3 stray cats and 2.3 children for every 1 adult Israeli. If you doubt this statistic, check the nearest dumpster or sidewalk, respectively.

3.) Any car driven by a person under 30 must be small, contain at least one person with over-large sunglasses on, have the top down and be blasting the latest in bad Middle Eastern techno pop.

4.) Hummus will be included with all meals, even if they have to somehow slip it into your drink. Deal with it.

5.) Israeli/Palestinian men might have us Westerners beat with their suave Mediterranean looks, but they don't help themselves with their dress, hair products, cologne and attitude.

6.) When thinking of taking the bus, stop and reassess the situation. Can I walk there? Do I have enough shekels to just take a taxi? If the answer to both is "no," look for a bus sign. One side will be in English, but this side will also be facing the other way and be half-blocked by another sign, the top of the bus stop, a sticker or any and everything else. Deploy a high-tech GPS beacon before getting on the bus so that you can safely track your way back.

7.) Never plan anything for Saturday. Everything is closed, my friend.